It was a simple but very telling moment that spoke volumes about audiences’ reactions to speakers - or in this case people we see presenting information. One of the most common challenges I hear my clients tell me is that they have trouble reading their audiences. Here’s some important things to keep in mind about audiences - be they in an auditorium or one-on-one across the table at lunch…
"To What End?"
We don’t always have the opportunity to plan what we’re going to say in live conversations, but what if we had the chance to think through some important questions beforehand? Could our relationships improve if we took 5 minutes before a meeting, lunch with a friend, morning coffee break or team presentation to ask ourselves: “To what end?
Ask Now, Get Later
I was recently at a networking event where a woman I had just met totally blew up my spot by talking AT me for way too long. As I silently begged for the floor to open up and swallow her alive, my left arm began to quiver from the weight of the mouthwatering raviolis that I was eager to devour. That’s when I knew it was time to shut homegirl down.
As funny (and straight up crazy) as this scenario sounds, so many of us get wrapped up in “selling” our story to others every chance we get. This approach to building business connections and opportunities is way too hard and ineffective. There is definitely a better way...
Should you say "no" to that speaking opportunity?
“Will you be a speaker at our upcoming conference? We can’t afford to pay you, but you’ll have TONS of exposure! Whatcha think?”
As an entrepreneur, how many times have you heard this line? It never gets old for me. And, I am always honored whenever I receive an invitation. Still, to stay competitive and business-growth focused, it’s critical to know when to say “No, thanks”. Otherwise, we risk wasting a lot of time and a lot of effort.
Proof Problems: How too much evidence can kill your conversation
LOL...3 Ways to Get Over Your Nervous Laughter
We can all have moments when we lean on laughter or humor to get us through a nervous conversation. Just remember this, that nervous laughter isn’t fooling anyone. Others can clearly see through it for what it is, and it will always make them feel uncomfortable. No one appreciates repeated laughs or giggles used to conceal nerves, or humor used in a way that is passive aggressive.
Here’s how to get over that nervous laugh...
Getting through it: 3 ways to manage your emotions on-camera or on-stage
My friend cried on the phone with me as he rehearsed his remarks that he was going to deliver at his father’s funeral later that week. His heart was broken and his words stumbled and eeked out from behind a growing lump in his throat. His pain was so palpable, I wanted to reach through the phone to wipe away the tears welling up in his eyes.
“How am I going to do this,” he asked. “I don’t want to turn into a blubbering mess up there, Andrea. But, I owe at least this much to my father.”
“Don’t go up there alone,” I replied...
When ya' got nothin', do somethin'!
This weekend, I tallied up how much money I’ve saved these last few years by creating my own business videos, instead of hiring a pro crew to make them for me. Would you believe it: $25k?!! Um, that’s a lot of cash, money, moula, dolla bills, ya’ll! (And learning this got me all sorts of excited again for my upcoming Creating DIY Business Videos You LOVE program in March.)
It got me thinking about the many times in my career when I had to “spin gold from straw”, that is – make something awesome happen when I had little to no resources available to me. It seems I’ve employed this trick many times...and here's how you can, too.
{VIDEO} Get on camera; Get more confident
When was the last time you saw yourself in a video or photo? So often we avoid being in the spotlight because, well, we just don't like seeing ourselves. And, I get that! When I first went on-camera for my business, I hated what I saw. I wanted to run and hide and never get on camera again.
Still, seeing myself on-camera did two very important things for me...two things that completely changed my mindset and my business. Most of my clients ask me how to get more confident on stage or on-camera or in the boardroom. Well, here's part of the answer...
3 simple steps to writing the perfect greeting card
Soapbox: One of the most joyless things ever is receiving a greeting card in the mail only to find that the sender didn’t write anything personal…they only signed their name.
Come on, ya’ll! We can do better than that! Why send a “greeting card” if all you’re gonna write is your name? I already know you’re name…it’s on the envelope!
There, I said it: off my soapbox now.
It only takes three lines and 30 seconds to write a deliciously good greeting card that your friends, family and others will truly appreciate and remember you for. Here’s how...
Don't step on your "thanks"
She totally stepped on my “congratulations”! I recently sent a colleague a big “thumbs up” for a huge accomplishment she had made, and instead of simply saying, “thanks”, homegirl stepped all over my congratulations like it was peanut shells on a bar floor. Like: she stomped on it, smothered it…and her reaction left me feeling like I never even said thanks in the first place.
How did she do it? Quite simply by...
Talk your way to better deals while shopping
Drop some truth to create a breakthrough
“You wanna know why you’re hurting so much when we workout, Andrea? Because you’re doing the bare minimum,” my personal trainer said to me. I was hurtin’ bad after a few too many jumping jacks (300 to be exact) and I wanted to hobble across the gym and choke him with whatever strength I had left.
I was ticked off. But, I knew in my heart, that he was right. I’ve been dragging my feet – quite literally – when it comes to eating well, sleeping and exercising. And, oh I have so many excuses but they all lead to one truth: I’m not doing the work. Plain and simple. I needed him to help me see that.
Sometimes, people need to hear some truth in order to breakthrough something really big that’s holding them back. But, telling people we love some cold-hard truth can be really challenging. Here’s how to do it:
How to say "I don't know" (and not feel defensive or stupid)
As brilliant as we all are – yeah, I said it, homie – sometimes, we have to say that we don’t know an answer to something. This oh-so-vulnerable moment comes up in meetings, during news interviews or job interviews, and sometimes in the middle of heated conversations.
So, how do you actually say, “I don’t know,” without feeling like a jerk? All it takes is a little “STEP”…here’s how:
Paying the perfect compliment
If you think of every conversation as an opportunity to say something nice, you’ll find that your relationships will really improve. The most dynamic people I know (those people who everyone seems to love) are the ones who are constantly praising others. They notice and truly appreciate the little and big things about others and they let them know it in a clear, respectful way.
Here’s how to do it...
Three ways to gain perspective in a conversation (and get more control)
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and in the middle of it all, you hear a voice in your head that says: “I’m totally judging you.”
Ha! I have. I admit it…and I’m not afraid to say it because I know I’m not alone. We all judge. Let me say that again: we all judge. It’s part of our biology…we are literally “hard-wired” to quickly determine in any situation if someone or something intends to do us harm. Judgement isn’t always a bad thing; it often protects us.
Where it trips us up is when we start judging in moments of non-crisis
The 3 most important words you can say to someone
7 Ways to Have a Good Conversation with a Difficult Person
I wanted to reach across the desk and choke the life from my boss as she threw down the tattered “big girl” dress onto my desktop while proclaiming, “I’m sorry I made you stay late last night. Here’s a little something you might like. It doesn’t fit me after I lost all this weight.”
“You @!$*&,” I thought.
This true story happened when I worked for my least-favorite boss of all time! We all encounter people who get our blood boiling, demean, dismiss or otherwise incite an internal riot in us. We call them jerks, difficult people…miserable messes. Unfortunately, we find them at work, in our families and everywhere in-between.
For selfish reasons, here’s why it’s not smart to get into it with someone you really don’t like:
Keep your audience’s attention with this one trick…
If I have one trick that I share with everyone about powerful public speaking, it’s this: enumerate your points and watch your audience hang on to your every word. (See what I did there, eh?)
Enumerating your points means using numbers to strategically organize your speech content so that listeners will stay tuned to what you have to say next. Some simple examples are...
When your clothes speak louder than you do
There he was: the CEO of a major company, projecting pure confidence on the stage before us as he worked to convince us all of the merits of his big community idea. I sat as an audience member – trying so hard to pay attention to his words. But I just couldn’t.
Why?
…because while his words and confident body language told one story, this dude's shoes – dirty, dull and falling apart – told another.